The Many Horrors of a Semi-Adult Life

After a fun, brief (horrific) interlude at the Timezone videoke, a group of friends watched with me the movie "Sinister" at Glorietta. While I may not be the sturdiest when it comes to horror films, I'm not the kind to scare easily (though I am weak at gore). And yes, I admit that this film had me disturbed as much as "Insidious" did — except for the ending. Thank God.

Especially when you suddenly find yourself awake at 3:32AM after a few days, and the first thing your mind rivets to is that particular scene in the movie where the protagonist woke up...

Only to be succeeded overwhelmed by an equally terrifying thought:

"What if my friends uploaded that video clip of my horrible singing while I was offline?"

I started to pray.

* * *

In Recognition of Desire

Ever since I heard about the Anti-Epal Bill in Twitter, I fell in love with the idea. "Epal" is an old Filipino slang from "ma-papel"(whose rough translations vary with context, such as "attention hog", "show/spotlight stealer," "credit/compliment beggar," etc. I hope you get the general idea. Filipino idioms are a bit tricky). Although the bill had roots way back in 2004, it gained popularity because of its rather unabashed renamed title. This was in response to the proliferation of credit-taking tarpaulins of supposed projects, accomplishments and other opportunities to turn an entire area into a politician's image - figuratively, and in many cases, even literally.

But being "epal" is not limited to politicians. And it's not even limited to Filipinos. It is a prevailing subconscious attitude, a silent culture of insecurity. It permeates every aspect of our society: from the sibling rivalries vying for a parent's attention, to the selfish pursuit of academic excellence (not that it is wrong, but really – for what reason or goal are the best-performing students aiming for ever since?), and that philosophical quest for self-actualization. Even the church is not exempt from it.

There's an epal inside every one of us. A soft, demanding voice that whispers a thirst for appreciation, for recognition and for remembrance.

KuyAte Leadership: Cross the Bridge, Bridge the Cross

A youth once complained about his little bro being a crybaby, effeminate & liking girly stuff. My reply: "Where were you as his brother?"

It's nothing new. For the past weeks, we've heard of it: conflicts of views about homosexuals and homophobics. Of political rights and moral wrongs. Of third genders and sex offenders. And as much as we Christians must take a stand on what the Bible says, how can a world who has long slowly started to reject the word of God believe our arguments?

Where does homosexuality start? Is it really genetic, as some would insist? Is it spiritual (like a demon possession), as some religious extremists would claim*? Is it borne from psychological, environmental and social influences, which help them shape their personality and view of self?

[*As a Christian, I also share this view that homosexuality is also a spiritual influence. However, I believe that it is a personal choice, too; even if we try to exorcise that person - it will be to no avail unless the person admits and confesses to it being morally wrong, and allow Christ to work in that person's life. Our task then as Christians is to guide and bring them to that realization, not by force but by sincerity of motive which is the love of God, then believe in God's power to move in their lives.]

I am not a psychologist, nor am I an expert. But what I do know is that these people also need Christ, that His sacrifice also includes them, and that based on countless stories it is possible for them to change and rediscover the life that God has planned for them.

But that isn't what this blog is about. What I want to talk about is: where are you as a brother? Where are you as a sister?

The Relationship Market: Quality Control

I admit: one of the things I really get tired about in the Christian young adult world is the incessant need  for a series on "Love, Courtship & Marriage" (or LCM for those who grew up in the 90s). Sure, the "love" market gets crazier with age: a lot of 'prospectable' partners already are matched up or contracted (literally), some have lost their 'appeal' (or in desperate need to reclaim it), and others simply are running out of time.

Yup, contrary to the popular line, "Love can wait forever," let's face it: life can't.

What's keeping me or others from entering into a relationship? And what is pressuring me to enter one? I remember back in my teens how we would be asked, "What's your ideal mate/partner?" but never was I asked, "Why do you want an ideal mate/partner?"

I Love Women

Our company just gave out free doughnuts today in celebration of International Women's Day, and while the happy gesture was mildly corrupted by Fellow Pao's signature insinuations (haha), I still found myself doing some introspection...

(And no — I am well aware, assured and secure on my 100.07% male gender/sexual orientation. Thank you.)

How did women affect/influence my life?

Here's a list:

Confessions of an "Unlonely" Loner

[And another repost from my old Multiply account. Yes, I'm on lazy mode.]

Single, but never alone. What does it really mean?

Several years back, we were tasked to carry on the leadership of the Single Adults Ministry (SAM) in our church. I always love to do the visuals and promotions, and with the help of our then-new digital projector and PC (which ran on a 256mb RAM, and a proud 60gb HDD), I'd take time to tinker with ideas and stuff.

One of the challenges then was thinking of a good concept on how to promote the SAM. I mean, what is SAM all about? Looking at our small group, it wasn't exactly a pretty sight: most had relational issues - that meant both those who had relationship problems, and many of those who wished they had a relationship. But as the weeks go by, I realized a question: What makes them come back and stay?

Single, but never alone. It was both an idea and a challenge - yet something I myself didn't understand fully.

3 Lovely Thoughts for the Loveless (on Valentines Day)

[A repost from my old Multiply account]

Thankfully, nobody's pestering me this week about Valentines. I'm not trying to be a stuck-up person (God knows how natural I can be at that, nyahahaha) - but seriously, the marketing hype during this season is soooooo annoying. I mean, what does it mean to love, really? And so I thought, "HEY, why don't I write my own ideas about it?" So to give myself a little bit of peace, here goes my three-piece of advice:

The KUYATE Leadership: Part 4 of 4

PART 4: STEPPING FORWARD 

I remember well a line from Bleach, a popular Japanese manga/anime. In one scene, Kurosaki Ichigo, the hero of the story, criticized his opponent:

“You know why big brothers are born first? To protect the little ones that come after them.”

The KUYATE Leadership: Part 3 of 4

PART 3: STEPPING BACK 

Speaking of kuyas, I do have an older (and only biological) brother. We don’t have many childhood memories together. In fact, most of them were not really nice. But as I reminisce the past, I realize that there were actually a lot of incidents where he made simple yet lasting influences in my life.

One in particular was when as a kid, my neighborhood playmates would hang out at out house to play. Our home then was quite wealthy – we had a lawn that I could truly boast of, and for some unknown reason, that day I was exceedingly arrogant because of it. As I bossed around my friends (using the fact that I lived in that house as my authority), my brother discreetly called me into the house. So I nonchalantly excused myself and went to him.

I don’t remember if my brother hit me. But I do remember how he scolded me: “Just because you own the house doesn’t give you the right to treat your friends arrogantly.” I couldn’t remember the rest, but ever since that day, my whole perspective about hospitality changed.

The KUYATE Leadership: Part 2 of 4

PART 2: STEP UP 

Realistically, I didn’t have any idea what it meant to be a kuya. I mean, I’m the youngest of four siblings. My relationship with my brother wasn’t that great when I was a kid. My elder sister was too busy with her teenage puppy loves and the 80’s pop music. As for the other sister? I was too busy competing with her.

It was when I discovered the youth ministry where the meaning of kuya and ate changed for me. While such honorifics were popular in school and the neighborhood, somehow the term felt different inside the church. It felt more real. More sincere. More powerful.

The KUYATE Leadership: Part 1 of 4

PART 1: STEP DOWN

It was a few months back. I came across an online rant. This guy was a bit frustrated. He complained a lot. About them not listening to his advice. About them not heeding his warnings. About them not following his instructions. He used to be a youth leader. Now, he’s a young adult. And new leaders are already in place. But he’s not satisfied.

So I joined in the conversation. I had to point it out: we used to be the youth leaders. We are no longer the leaders. They are.

We miss being the leader.

Stargazing at 4:30AM

I couldn't remember the first time I gazed up at the night skies. How young was I? How naive or innocent were my thoughts? How long did such a moment last?

I do clearly remember the day I first read about the Stargazer, a nickname for a fictional fairy tale hero. Amusingly, that title never bore any relevance to the actual story. I couldn't even remember the entire plot. But I can still clearly imagine the vague image picture of the scene: a young boy staring at the skies, his mind swirling and overflowing with ideas, yet which is devoid of coherent thought.

Just like a cloudless night sky brimming with stars.

And a cool breeze gently keeping me company.

And a kaleidoscope of memories from various timelines of my life converging on a single thought:

"God, how beautiful are these stars!"