Life is Too Short to be Impatient

A young friend chatted me up the other day, asking for a simple advise: should she stay with her current company who only offers her a small salary, or should she shift to a call center company where the immediate benefits is way better.

First of all, I have nothing against call centers. I respect their occupation and role in the society, being the recipients of our social ires — both valid and illogical. Sometimes you just gotta admire how their eardrums and brains can take the consistent pound-for-pound calls of irascible complaints, retarded questions, as well as the helplessly hurtful criticisms for their company (when it deserves merit).

But hey, I'm not talking about call centers.

Breaking Cycles, Becoming 2013

It's already 2013, and as I looked back in dismay - there were a lot of things I failed to do. Again.

As the year started in 2012, I was planning to buy myself some gadgets that I really, really needed. And so, I looked forward to the 13th month bonus (since my company doesn't give a Christmas bonus for us contractual employees). That included a graphic pen tablet (so I can upgrade my graphic design skills), a 1TB external/portable HDD drive, an affordable DLSR camera (or just the waterproof digicam, particularly the Olympus Tough haha), OR (yes, "or" not "and") a new mobile phone (or smart phone) - since the one I'm using (a simple but dependable Motorola phone) was just loaned from a good friend of mine years ago.

Alas, I didn't get a chance to buy myself any of these.

And somehow, thoughts of self-pity or self-chastisement creep up at nights, accusing me, "Why?!"

Yet, somehow God comforts me with the same question: "Why?"

Envy.

The Lame Blame Game

Just a year ago, Christopher Lao had been a target of netizens' criticism and ridicule over an amusing side comment captured on a news video reel. Just a few months ago, Carabuena sparked the outrage of countless Filipinos over a footage of him physically abusing an MMDA personnel.     

(As for Sotto's claims of being cyberbullied, HAH!)

And now, #AMALAYER.

The Many Horrors of a Semi-Adult Life

After a fun, brief (horrific) interlude at the Timezone videoke, a group of friends watched with me the movie "Sinister" at Glorietta. While I may not be the sturdiest when it comes to horror films, I'm not the kind to scare easily (though I am weak at gore). And yes, I admit that this film had me disturbed as much as "Insidious" did — except for the ending. Thank God.

Especially when you suddenly find yourself awake at 3:32AM after a few days, and the first thing your mind rivets to is that particular scene in the movie where the protagonist woke up...

Only to be succeeded overwhelmed by an equally terrifying thought:

"What if my friends uploaded that video clip of my horrible singing while I was offline?"

I started to pray.

* * *

In Recognition of Desire

Ever since I heard about the Anti-Epal Bill in Twitter, I fell in love with the idea. "Epal" is an old Filipino slang from "ma-papel"(whose rough translations vary with context, such as "attention hog", "show/spotlight stealer," "credit/compliment beggar," etc. I hope you get the general idea. Filipino idioms are a bit tricky). Although the bill had roots way back in 2004, it gained popularity because of its rather unabashed renamed title. This was in response to the proliferation of credit-taking tarpaulins of supposed projects, accomplishments and other opportunities to turn an entire area into a politician's image - figuratively, and in many cases, even literally.

But being "epal" is not limited to politicians. And it's not even limited to Filipinos. It is a prevailing subconscious attitude, a silent culture of insecurity. It permeates every aspect of our society: from the sibling rivalries vying for a parent's attention, to the selfish pursuit of academic excellence (not that it is wrong, but really – for what reason or goal are the best-performing students aiming for ever since?), and that philosophical quest for self-actualization. Even the church is not exempt from it.

There's an epal inside every one of us. A soft, demanding voice that whispers a thirst for appreciation, for recognition and for remembrance.

Farewell to Another Great Bicolano: Jesse Robredo

Death comes ever so suddenly, that sometimes the pain of our loss goes beyond our mere senses - like wounds to the soul, leaving behind not just a scar but a seeming emptiness that somehow seems to suck every ray of smile...

Yet there are people who, even in their death, manage fight back against that void - and with a preciously small fragment of a memory, turn around the gloom by reminding us not of what we had lost, but what every person leaves behind - a legacy, a memory of some distant yet perceivable hope, a reason to smile.

Happy Freedom Day!

Usually, we celebrate Independence Day with history lessons. Not that it's wrong, but sometimes we do lose sight of what history is supposed to teach us in the present. Like what did we become 'independent' about? What was "freedom" really mean?

As much as I'd love to go into etymologies, that is not the case of my blog. Rather, I wanted to reflect: what does freedom mean for me?

I Love Women

Our company just gave out free doughnuts today in celebration of International Women's Day, and while the happy gesture was mildly corrupted by Fellow Pao's signature insinuations (haha), I still found myself doing some introspection...

(And no — I am well aware, assured and secure on my 100.07% male gender/sexual orientation. Thank you.)

How did women affect/influence my life?

Here's a list:

I'm a Lover and a Warrior

It's been an eventful day: doing the laundry, showing up for muay thai training, rushing a design revision for some friends' wedding invite, dropping by the office to copy some important files for the kids ministry (and unwittingly forgetting to unplug the flashdrive from the computer), downloading while eating/wasting (relatively) time at Burger King, traveling to Alabang, attending the YA fellowship there and of course the post-activity coffee and laughter, then finally off to my current residence in the metropolis.

It's been a fun day. And because of that, I feel sad.

Confessions of an "Unlonely" Loner

[And another repost from my old Multiply account. Yes, I'm on lazy mode.]

Single, but never alone. What does it really mean?

Several years back, we were tasked to carry on the leadership of the Single Adults Ministry (SAM) in our church. I always love to do the visuals and promotions, and with the help of our then-new digital projector and PC (which ran on a 256mb RAM, and a proud 60gb HDD), I'd take time to tinker with ideas and stuff.

One of the challenges then was thinking of a good concept on how to promote the SAM. I mean, what is SAM all about? Looking at our small group, it wasn't exactly a pretty sight: most had relational issues - that meant both those who had relationship problems, and many of those who wished they had a relationship. But as the weeks go by, I realized a question: What makes them come back and stay?

Single, but never alone. It was both an idea and a challenge - yet something I myself didn't understand fully.

3 Lovely Thoughts for the Loveless (on Valentines Day)

[A repost from my old Multiply account]

Thankfully, nobody's pestering me this week about Valentines. I'm not trying to be a stuck-up person (God knows how natural I can be at that, nyahahaha) - but seriously, the marketing hype during this season is soooooo annoying. I mean, what does it mean to love, really? And so I thought, "HEY, why don't I write my own ideas about it?" So to give myself a little bit of peace, here goes my three-piece of advice:

Here We Go Again

And so we started another new year. Hooray!


And again, a lot of us were excited — as usual.


And a lot of us, again, wore a poker face as we consumed the celebratory meal. As usual.


And then there's a lot of us who just faced it again with worries. Worries about end of the world stuff, worries about impending economic crises and job instabilities, and worries about possible calamities that can strike anywhere, anytime.


Like that's unusual.


And then, there's me.

Stargazing at 4:30AM

I couldn't remember the first time I gazed up at the night skies. How young was I? How naive or innocent were my thoughts? How long did such a moment last?

I do clearly remember the day I first read about the Stargazer, a nickname for a fictional fairy tale hero. Amusingly, that title never bore any relevance to the actual story. I couldn't even remember the entire plot. But I can still clearly imagine the vague image picture of the scene: a young boy staring at the skies, his mind swirling and overflowing with ideas, yet which is devoid of coherent thought.

Just like a cloudless night sky brimming with stars.

And a cool breeze gently keeping me company.

And a kaleidoscope of memories from various timelines of my life converging on a single thought:

"God, how beautiful are these stars!"