The Many Horrors of a Semi-Adult Life

After a fun, brief (horrific) interlude at the Timezone videoke, a group of friends watched with me the movie "Sinister" at Glorietta. While I may not be the sturdiest when it comes to horror films, I'm not the kind to scare easily (though I am weak at gore). And yes, I admit that this film had me disturbed as much as "Insidious" did — except for the ending. Thank God.

Especially when you suddenly find yourself awake at 3:32AM after a few days, and the first thing your mind rivets to is that particular scene in the movie where the protagonist woke up...

Only to be succeeded overwhelmed by an equally terrifying thought:

"What if my friends uploaded that video clip of my horrible singing while I was offline?"

I started to pray.

* * *

In Recognition of Desire

Ever since I heard about the Anti-Epal Bill in Twitter, I fell in love with the idea. "Epal" is an old Filipino slang from "ma-papel"(whose rough translations vary with context, such as "attention hog", "show/spotlight stealer," "credit/compliment beggar," etc. I hope you get the general idea. Filipino idioms are a bit tricky). Although the bill had roots way back in 2004, it gained popularity because of its rather unabashed renamed title. This was in response to the proliferation of credit-taking tarpaulins of supposed projects, accomplishments and other opportunities to turn an entire area into a politician's image - figuratively, and in many cases, even literally.

But being "epal" is not limited to politicians. And it's not even limited to Filipinos. It is a prevailing subconscious attitude, a silent culture of insecurity. It permeates every aspect of our society: from the sibling rivalries vying for a parent's attention, to the selfish pursuit of academic excellence (not that it is wrong, but really – for what reason or goal are the best-performing students aiming for ever since?), and that philosophical quest for self-actualization. Even the church is not exempt from it.

There's an epal inside every one of us. A soft, demanding voice that whispers a thirst for appreciation, for recognition and for remembrance.

I Love Women

Our company just gave out free doughnuts today in celebration of International Women's Day, and while the happy gesture was mildly corrupted by Fellow Pao's signature insinuations (haha), I still found myself doing some introspection...

(And no — I am well aware, assured and secure on my 100.07% male gender/sexual orientation. Thank you.)

How did women affect/influence my life?

Here's a list:

I'm a Lover and a Warrior

It's been an eventful day: doing the laundry, showing up for muay thai training, rushing a design revision for some friends' wedding invite, dropping by the office to copy some important files for the kids ministry (and unwittingly forgetting to unplug the flashdrive from the computer), downloading while eating/wasting (relatively) time at Burger King, traveling to Alabang, attending the YA fellowship there and of course the post-activity coffee and laughter, then finally off to my current residence in the metropolis.

It's been a fun day. And because of that, I feel sad.

Here We Go Again

And so we started another new year. Hooray!


And again, a lot of us were excited — as usual.


And a lot of us, again, wore a poker face as we consumed the celebratory meal. As usual.


And then there's a lot of us who just faced it again with worries. Worries about end of the world stuff, worries about impending economic crises and job instabilities, and worries about possible calamities that can strike anywhere, anytime.


Like that's unusual.


And then, there's me.