Wednesday, April 14, 2010

This is Madness! This is the Philippines!

It's been a week since I last blogged - a maddening week of worrying and trying to do something about my financial crisis. And in some ways, the stress was driving me insane.

I was trying to limit myself from tackling too much politics in my blog, because I don't want this to be a political blog. I want it to be a personal and fun site where I can express my ideas freely.

That was a crazy hope, because I realize that as much as I hate politics, it's a part of life. So heck, I might as well deal with it.

Just a few days ago, a supposedly fictitious scanned psychiatric document started circulating in the Internet. I saw it first on Facebook, and out of curiosity I checked it out. It allegedly stated Noynoy Aquinos' previous mental condition. Frankly, I didn't care. It was debunked later on by the supposed signatoree of the document anyway.

But noooooooo. The story can NOT end there. The Villar camp had to challenge Noynoy to undergo an actual test to disprove the disproven document. And noooooooo, Noynoy's camp had to bark back. Yackety-yack-yack-quack.

Well, here's my own diagnosis/prognosis of their complaints:

VILLAR: 
Subject shows symptoms of acute dementia. Subject claims of disjointed memories, and suffers from chronic hallucination which involves swimming in a sea of garbage (probable cause may be unknown childhood trauma of Freudian origins).

PRESCRIPTION:
Sustagen Premium. And no pork (especially in barrels). Especially on the road.

AQUINO: 
Subject exhibits extreme paranoia, and persecution/superiority complex. Subject babbles repeatedly of conspiracy theories, and shows extreme defense mechanisms on family and personal issues. Observations show that subject also suffers from acute sleeping disorders, and a necrophiliac case of Oedipus complex.

PRESCRIPTION:
Stop smoking. Meals should not include barrels of pork either. And a little caffeine, Extra Joss or Cobra might help sustain wakefulness. Or even just Kopiko candies, which can also be used as a deterrent for further smoking.

* * *

In conclusion, why don't we just subject everyone to all types of tests? I mean all the candidates - from the presidential, senatorial and local levels. Heck, even Cabinet posts should have strict psychological records. Businesses do it as part of the hiring protocol, and being reassured that our options for the next national leaders ARE NOT loons is OUR business as the citizens.

So, where will the budget for those tests come from?

Don't you just love this crazy nation?

Share/Bookmark

2 comments: