Okay, I admit it: I've been procrastinating on writing. On purpose. Not that I didn't have any ideas lately. In fact, there were a lot of interesting topics I wanted to write about. Some I managed to jot down in my lil notebook, and others ruefully forgotten.
Fact is, I feel lazy. Or maybe, uninspired. Or specifically, unmotivated.
Why do I write? For my own satisfaction and self-gratification? For self-improvement or development? For self-discovery, introspection or mere self-expression?
In fact, I feel tempted to ask myself - is writing really my thing? I mean, I don't get to earn anything for it. The two novel ideas I started working on this year is currently on a hiatus, because I feel like I'm getting nowhere.
I even sometimes wonder if anybody really bothers to read my blogs.
Speaking of my blog, I thought of reviewing what I've been writing about for the past year and felt amused as I stumbled across one of the earliest blogs for 2010. It was a new year's resolution of some sort, intended to challenge myself. And so to evaluate myself:
1) Write more.
Hmm, I guess I did manage to keep my resolution on this. Well, not as much as I wanted to, but at least I wrote more for this year than in the past years, I guess. Though I wasn't able to finish my short story. Sigh. Oh well, there's always room for improvement...
2) Read more.
Okay - this one I proudly say I did keep :D Let me check the list of books I got to read...
- Percy Jackson - The Lightning Thief
- Percy Jackson - The Sea of Monsters
- Percy Jackson - The Titan's Curse
- Percy Jackson - The Battle of the Labyrinth
- Percy Jackson - The Last Olympian
- Heroes of Olympus - The Lost Hero
- Artemis Fowl
- Artemis Fowl - The Arctic Incident
- Artemis Fowl - The Eternity Code
- Artemis Fowl - The Opal Deception
- Artemis Fowl - The Lost Colony
- Artemis Fowl - The Time Paradox
- The Kane Chronicles - The Red Pyramid
- IDEA+OLOGY (Christopher Simmons)
- The Scarlet Pimpernel
(Umm, should I include the countless manga series I read???) XD
3) Sleep more.
Weeeellll... I did get to sleep more... and also to go through sleepless nights... soooooo...
4) Smile more.
I tried, didn't I?
5) Go out more.
Okay, I totally failed on this one. >_<
6) Listen more.
Just two words that made the 'getting in touch with music' suck: JUSTIN BIEBER
Sheesh. I really hate that guy.
7) Pray more.
It's kinda embarrassing to admit that despite all the hassles of 2010, I severely lacked in prayer - simply because I was too caught up in so many activities.
Sigh. If there's anything I should learn from last year - it's in how much I need to rediscover my personal quiet time.
8) Save more.
Okay. Utter failure. SIGH.
9) Exercise more.
Hmm, not bad… but I didn't get to meet my target. Hope I can have enough budget to recommit into my old muay thai sessions... if there's one thing I missed while I was in Avon, it was being able to afford the muaythai tutorial fees & equipment expenses...
And yeah, I'm gonna miss the table tennis. Badminton, anyone?
10) Remember more.
What was it about again? Haha! Well, looking back through this list, it's reminds me that despite my limitations, I did manage to keep a few resolutions - which means that the notion that New Year's Resolutions are made to be broken isn't entirely true - especially when you seek God's help to make it happen.
Now, what was I ranting about earlier? Oh yeah, writing. Hmm, I still don't know why I still struggle and push myself to write... but I guess I'll keep holding on to my words until I understand and realize why it still matters.
And yeah, I'm gonna save up for a camera. I'm getting tired using edited online graphics for my posts.
Happy New Year, everyone!